It seems the popular trend in the world today is to make everyone feel like a winner. It’s natural in human nature to want to be recognized for your efforts, to win, or “get a gold star”. It’s even good for our confidence (and egos) to get those pats on the back that encourage us. But we can’t forget that there is growth, even value, to be gained from losing. How can you learn from being a loser? Well, you might find that being the loser sometimes is actually the edge you need to become a winner. Read on to find out how to win by losing.
Turning Disappointment into Determination:
Yes, losing is disappointing. The end. It just is! Especially in a subjective sport like ballroom, it basically boils down to you weren’t liked as much as the next couple. Unlike other sports where the clock is the judge, here it’s feels more personal.
For us dancers, losing can mean not making it out of the first round, not making the final, being beaten by a couple you usually dominate, or falling in placement in the final. After taking some time to lick your wounds, look at this disappointment as a turning point. You can either wallow in your rejection or see this as the moment where your resolve is strengthened. The choice of how you will handle the result is actually when you decide if losing is going to make you a literal loser or will refine you into a winner.
You have two options to handle the loss:
1. Be sad or bitter. Take it as the world is against you. Blame others (especially your partner-oh yes, he/she definitely sabotaged you). Cry politics.
or
2. Harness the emotion of the defeat as your edge over those who are winning. Your motivation is now stronger, so seek out reliable feedback on how to improve and think of these critiques as the keys to opening the doors to victory.
How to Lose Gracefully:
One thing that will certainly not win you over to the judges’ or the audience’s favor has nothing to do with the fact that your dancing was not the best on the floor that night. You’ll be less likely to be remembered as “the person who came in last in the RS Latin” then you will as “the a–hole who was a poor sportsman, pouting and grumbling after coming in last in the RS Latin”.
Judges and the audience want to see great dancing-they support and encourage those who rise up from the underdog position, while on the other hand, if you’re an arrogant jerk, people are quietly satisfied to see you kept down.
Now we all know that sometimes results are unfair and you get robbed, but don’t worry about it. If it’s a truly unpopular result, you’ll have the audience voicing their disapproval (and judges murmuring the same), and the whole ballroom will be on your side. This is the perfect opportunity to win over others’ opinions of you, by staying cool and graciously accepting your placement.
The Loser’s Edge:
The plight of the winner is that there’s no where else to go but down. The strength of the loser is that there is plenty of room to climb up. Who is in the more precarious position? The winner is, which is in fact, the powerful edge of the loser. As you keep improving, keeping your passion on fire, and staying gracious, you will soon be viewed not as the loser, but as the one to watch. Take heart and don’t give up! Every winner was once a loser too, so you’re in the company of champions!
With her husband Erik, they are the founders of DanceSport Place and have a passion to help dancesport competitors reach their dancing goals.
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